Oh where to start, where to start.
If you are serious about finding new love in the New Year then you might need to make some serious changes now!
Follow these 5 steps to change your life
- Find a relationship coach for a check up. This brother once told me that there are “a lot of undiagnosed Black folks running around.” It sounds funny but it’s so true. Seriously examine yourself, especially if you are overweight. I once read that 1 out of 4 Black women have been sexually assaulted and that obesity is a sign of depression. If you connect the dots, you realize that many of our obese women are depressed. Deal with that first. I recommend relationship strategist Charly Emery (www.charlysense.com). Think of me as an auto body shop and Charly as a mechanic. I can make you look good on the outside but if you are broken on the inside, none of it matters. Fix that first. If you don’t have Charly try a life coach, but make sure you chose a process with a beginning and an end..
- Practice saying kind words. Negativity is a sign of insecurity. It doesn’t matter how “bomb” you are, if you are insecure you drop a point or two. Fake it until you make it. Don’t talk about your perceived shortcomings on dates. None of that exists, only say nice things in front of strangers. I don’t care what you believe, when you are out and about, be nice.
- Step it up. Learn how to put on make up. Have your 5 minute face and your 25 minute face. I recommend bare minerals foundation, a nice blush, neutral eye shadow, mascara and lipstick, gloss is so young and immature to me. Go to the department store and ask for help. Don’t target the Goth makeup artist, find the girl with the classic beauty makeup. Men say they don’t like women who wear lots of makeup. What that means is they don’t want to see a lot of bad makeup. They love natural makeup.
- Try something new! Get out and meet new people. Try Meet Up groups, Match.com, Jdate, Eharmony, Blackpeoplemeet, Blind Dates, etc. Just get out. Go to a new happy hour near your office each week. Meet a girlfriend, or go alone. Strike up a conversation and make a friend. Try questions like, “what do you recommend I try?” Then go to number 5.
- Flirt. Try not to take this the wrong way, flirting is simply being available, (instead of standoffish) and making people feel good. You can be heterosexual and flirt with women as well as men. Initiate conversations, non-sexual please, and enjoy the person. Try to fall in love with something about every new person you meet. I like to fall in love with the eyes.
Start here and your love life will change for the better.