Serria Says Rules

Friday, January 6, 2012

Act Pretty

I was watching a show called Why Am I Still Single and one of the dating coaches mentioned that a client “acted pretty” and that was half the battle of finding a good mate. I’ve never heard that term, “act pretty” but after thinking about it, I like it.

Black women don’t generally “act pretty” because we weren’t taught to act that way whereas my white girlfriends, especially the blonds are rewarded for pretty behavior. As a result of being rewarded with attention, popularity, gifts and boys, those girls teach the same behavior to their children. What they don’t usually do is share their secrets with their friends because friends are considered competition.

Luckily for you, I’m not afraid of competition.

Why should we act pretty? Why should we “act” anything?

I talked about this with a girlfriend who really disliked the “acting” word. Don’t mistake acting for being fake, it’s not the same. When I was in my early twenties I studied improv, our warm up exercise was to jump into an emotion and play it at level “10” from the start. What I learned from committing to that behavior is that it quickly became real. So by “acting” pretty you are faking it until you make it. It doesn’t matter if you don’t think you look good enough because the guy on the date with you disagrees.

For most men, pretty behavior correlates to femininity and it triggers something deep inside that makes them act like gentlemen. I have tested this theory so much and each time it’s the same. Men revel in the opportunity to show you that they are men.  If being a lady encourages them to act like a gentleman, the opposite behavior gets the opposite results. Simple huh?

How can someone act pretty? 
  • Smile - It all starts there. Be very generous with your laughter.
  • Lashes - For some reason fake lashes or full lush lashes just makes guys melt.
  • Dress Like a Lady - There is nothing wrong with wearing a dress to meet someone, effort is a good thing
  • Baby Talk - Speak softly and don’t be afraid to use “baby talk”. Look I have a degree and a career just like everyone else, but men, no matter how rich or poor, love damn baby talk.  
  • Listen- What does that have to do with being pretty? Listening to a man makes him feel more like a man and that will make you hotter to him.
Please note that pretty doesn’t mean half naked, sexually aggressive, trashy, air headed, bimbo and high maintenance.


Make a date special by dressing up. Not major but just a little it shows that you care.

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