Baby Talk

Try to read this objectively and without judgmentt. Baby talk is a weapon that should be kept in your back pocket and used when needed. In the meantime I want you to practice using this very necessary tool that is specific to women. Try it out on guys you casually date to see what types work best.

There are two types of baby talk, actual baby talk where you change the letters of a word and physical baby talk where you pout and use childlike behavior, for example saying “tickle tickle” when you tickle his tummy. I personally think that all men like a little baby talk and women should know how to do it. No matter how powerful your position is in real life or how much money you make, at the end of the day you are still someone’s girlfriend.   

I have a sorority sister who is an attorney and she was the first person I’ve ever seen to actively use baby talk, she’s a sister too. Whenever she spoke to a guy she would raise her voice and it was actually kind of adorable…to me! Guys ate it up. I never gave myself permission to be that “foolish,” I didn’t get it.

After I modeled and saw my girlfriends sprinkle in baby talk to their boyfriends and sugar daddies then I took note. Some of the die hard sugar baby blonds only spoke in baby talk; all the damn time! It made girls hate them of course, but they were professional sugar babies and didn’t give a care about what we thought. 

I also knew of a 3^rd grade school teacher who would land all these rich fiancés with baby talk, “snicky-wicky can you get me a milkie-wilkie?”

Some men appreciate baby talk when it’s used at appropriate times. What I find is that it works to get guys to do what you want. Don’t do it all the time and I recommend using it outside of the bedroom instead of as foreplay.

**Tails**

It's more about the action than the words. A good way to implement baby talk is by pouting. It's super silly and shows that you don't take yourself too seriously. A guy rather you pout than yell at him.

The “I Need A Man Who I Can’t Walk Over” Lie

I was reading Media Take Out and they mentioned that Nicki Minaj’s boyfriend had beat her a few times or something like that. Now, the validity of this claim aside, the reality is that talented beautiful girls in all walks of life are constantly hooking up with guys who hit them. I wondered why and remembered this phrase I had repeatedly heard from lost souls, “I can’t date a man that let’s me walk all over him.” When I asked these girls what they meant, they said they didn't like men who let them talk to them any old type of way; they need a man who stands up for himself.

That thinking is very flawed and I’m sure it can be traced back to an abusive relationship that was witnessed by a child. The problem is that you shouldn’t talk to men “any old type of way” in the first place, so “checking” you shouldn’t be an issue. I don’t know what type of behavior women expect from these men who “check” them but it usually isn’t good. Self respect is great and your man should respect himself but please don’t mistake a man’s desire to please you and make you happy as a sign of weakness. If you do, you need professional help, it’s only a matter of time before someone starts smacking you.

When looking for a man, the first thing you should look for is a guy who kisses the ground you walk on and wants to please you, because after that everything else will fall into place. Your man shouldn’t have to worry about you talking to him any type of way because you just won’t.

My little brother is an ass towards women and the chicks he dates are so stupid that words can’t be wasted towards them. He cheats on all of them and takes money from one to spend on the other - just low down. I asked him why he treats women the way he does, he said because they allow it. It confused me, why would you treat them like that in the first place then punish them for liking you? So I am asking you to comprehend what my brother is too simple to get, don’t treat men poorly first and then punish them for liking you because the only alternative that you get is a man that doesn’t like your dumb behind.  

In the case of domestic violence, do you punish the man for hitting the woman or the woman for staying? Same thing.

**Tails**

A big misconception women have is that men care about what we think. Practice being agreeable, you don't have to agree but say "I never thought of it like that. That's interesting." make a joke and change the subject.

How to Avoid Relationship Purgatory

A friend of mine moved to DC and while we were catching up I told her about my business…you know being a dating coach for Black women and all. She immediately went to a situation that’s been bothering her.

She told me, “I have a girlfriend who has been with a guy for 6 years and she wants to get married but it doesn’t seem like he wants to. She tells the guy that she will never leave him and she won’t. Can you give me one sentence to have my friend get out of that situation? ”

Hells yeah, I sure can. The sentence is, “Allow a man to see the amazing wife and mother you will be while staying just out of reach so he has to make you his wife to get the full package.”  

Once you start being a “ride or die chick” without being a wife, then you’ve lost.  He already has everything he wants without the security that you desire. If your final goal is marriage then you have lost, big time.

Think about it! If you were to go to a carwash and they washed and detailed your car for free all the time but then all of a sudden they wanted you to pay, I bet you would stop going to that car wash.  I know I would! And you know what else? The next car wash that I go too, I will do my homework. They will get paid but I’d get the best value. I would never pay the car wash that I took for free. It’s just human nature, we don’t value free shit.

Relationship purgatory is best for men because it allows the woman to be monogamous without the man truly committing. It doesn’t really work for women because each year that we lose, makes us “less marketable.” (Not really but men tell us this lie). The worst thing that a guy can think of is a another man in your sweet honey pot, sorry to be crass but it is! A man will marry you to avoid that but if there is no threat, why does he have to?

As heterosexual women, we are quite fond of love rods and if you aren’t married then you should have the freedom to play with every twig and berry of your liking, whether you chose to or not. Ideally you should be so hot and in demand that the boyfriend should understand that you adore him but if he’s not playing by the rules another man will come and snatch you right from under him.

Live in that world ladies!

You are not winning by being in an uncommitted relationship, you aren’t! You are missing out! You are the prize and if he’s not on board, that is fine because there is no shortage of men checking for you.

**Tails**

Most purgatory happens because the chick can not afford to move, keep two months savings. And consult with a palimony attorney to see if you are entitled to financial support from the long term boyfriend.

Act Pretty

I was watching a show called Why Am I Still Single and one of the dating coaches mentioned that a client “acted pretty” and that was half the battle of finding a good mate. I’ve never heard that term, “act pretty” but after thinking about it, I like it.

Black women don’t generally “act pretty” because we weren’t taught to act that way whereas my white girlfriends, especially the blonds are rewarded for pretty behavior. As a result of being rewarded with attention, popularity, gifts and boys, those girls teach the same behavior to their children. What they don’t usually do is share their secrets with their friends because friends are considered competition.

Luckily for you, I’m not afraid of competition.

Why should we act pretty? Why should we “act” anything?

I talked about this with a girlfriend who really disliked the “acting” word. Don’t mistake acting for being fake, it’s not the same. When I was in my early twenties I studied improv, our warm up exercise was to jump into an emotion and play it at level “10” from the start. What I learned from committing to that behavior is that it quickly became real. So by “acting” pretty you are faking it until you make it. It doesn’t matter if you don’t think you look good enough because the guy on the date with you disagrees.

For most men, pretty behavior correlates to femininity and it triggers something deep inside that makes them act like gentlemen. I have tested this theory so much and each time it’s the same. Men revel in the opportunity to show you that they are men.  If being a lady encourages them to act like a gentleman, the opposite behavior gets the opposite results. Simple huh?

How can someone act pretty? 

• Smile - It all starts there. Be very generous with your laughter.
• Lashes - For some reason fake lashes or full lush lashes just makes guys melt.
• Dress Like a Lady - There is nothing wrong with wearing a dress to meet someone, effort is a good thing
• Baby Talk - Speak softly and don’t be afraid to use “baby talk”. Look I have a degree and a career just like everyone else, but men, no matter how rich or poor, love damn baby talk.  
• Listen- What does that have to do with being pretty? Listening to a man makes him feel more like a man and that will make you hotter to him.

Please note that pretty doesn’t mean half naked, sexually aggressive, trashy, air headed, bimbo and high maintenance.

**Tails**

Make a date special by dressing up. Not major but just a little it shows that you care.